Regulus' Reason
by expelliarmoose
Summary: Regulus Black had always lived up to the Black family name. A perfect pureblood, never crossing the line between magic and Muggles– until one night, in a bar, when everything started to change. Everyone knows the story: the once loyal servant who sacrificed his life to bring down his master. He must have had a reason. She was the reason.
1. Chapter 1

**Cara**

It was some weird twist of fate that I was there at all. I'd never liked bars: being drunk meant being out of control, and that was never okay for me. Kate was the one that dragged me. "It's my 18th birthday, Cara. Live a little." So I came. I lived. I let the music fill me and I danced like a maniac and I let my hair fly free like those girls do in the movies.

 **Regulus**

I always thought it weird that they liked to hang out there sometimes. Macnair, and Nott, and Lestrange, and that lot. For all their talk of how Muggles were nothing less than animals, how much we wizards were far superior to them, they certainly liked to look at the Muggle girls. They seemed so carefree, clueless, those girls did. If the master had found out, he wouldn't have been happy at all. Not at all.

 **Cara**

He was sitting at the bar. I noticed him almost as soon as I walked in, because he wasn't wearing regular clothes. He had on this weird cloak-like thing, that dropped almost to the floor. I guess, if you were looking for somewhere to be strange, that bar was the perfect place.

 **Regulus**

"You coming, Reg?" Nott asked, breaking through my thoughts. I sighed.

"Nah, I'm just going to finish this," I said, motioning to my beer.

"Okay, see you on the flip side, brotha."

Macnair smacked him on the back of the head, laughing. "Don't say that, you sound like Muggle scum." They stumbled out. I turned back to my drink, and my thoughts.

The absence of Kreacher in my house was remarkable. He'd never been cheerful, but his presence and his cooking and his abysmal muttering made the house more of a home than it had ever been. I didn't even know if he was alive, or dead. I could only imagine what the Dark Lord had done with him. I knew what deeds my own hands had done on his orders. I sighed again. And then– there was a tap on my shoulder.

 **Cara**

I'm still not sure what made me do it. Curiosity had always been my fatal flaw. The vodka wasn't helping. He turned around, and he was much younger than I had thought. Late teens, probably. My age.

 **Regulus**

"What's that you're wearing?"

It was a girl. A tall, willowy girl, with curly blonde hair that tumbled down her back. A Muggle, surely. I didn't recognise her. She surprised me: there was this sparkle in her eyes– intelligence?– that conveyed something deeper than the mere animals I had been taught to expect.

"What's it to you, Muggle?" I turned back to my drink.

 **Cara**

Muggle? What? I started backing away. Teach me to walk up to strange men in the bar. I'd only been interested, no need for him to get so offended. Then he spun back around, as if just remembering something. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. These are my robes."

 **Regulus**

I still don't know what made me do it. She meant nothing to me, that Muggle. Her blood was as dirty as the Thames river. Mine was pure. And yet– she seemed so innocent. Pure in the way I would never be. Although I had killed her kind before, I couldn't make myself be rude to her.

I rationalized it. No need to waste anger on such a pathetic subject. What the Dark Lord didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. She was brave to walk up to me, brave to question me at all. I couldn't spoil that.

 **Cara**

I laughed. "Like a bathrobe? You know you're in public, right?"

"A bathrobe? What?"

How out of touch was this kid? I giggled and took the seat next to him, sticking out my hand. "Cara."

 **Regulus**

Her hand was warm. I wasn't expecting that. I don't know what I thought– that her hand would be cold, or made of some different material entirely. But it felt like any other hand I had ever touched. It felt like my own hands.

I'd never touched a Muggle before. Never been introduced to a Muggle. I had scorned them from street corners. Thrown rocks in their windows. Seen their last breaths leave their bodies with a flash of green light. But never had I made contact with one, free of animosity. It struck me how easy it was. Natural.

"Regulus."

 **Cara**

It fit. An unusual name for an unusual person. "Regulus? That's hardly regular."

He snorted. "Like I haven't heard that one before. I've learned not to Care-a."

I cracked up.

 **Regulus**

Her laugh fit her. Light and airy, dancing through that dingy bar and landing in my ears like sunshine. I wanted to make her laugh again, and again. It was like a breath of fresh air.

"Wait until you hear my full name– Regulus Arcturus Black."

 **Cara**

This poor kid. "That's a mouthful. What were your parents thinking?"

 **Regulus**

That I needed a name worthy enough to carry on the Black family legacy, one that would establish me as wizarding royalty, one that would immediately convey my superiority.

"They weren't," I joked.

 **Cara**

It was so easy talking to him. He was odd: he seemed to be completely clueless about many regular things, like doctors and applying for uni. He lived in his own little world. But he was hilarious. I'd never before laughed as much as I did that night.

 **Regulus**

She laughed at all my jokes, even the ones that weren't funny. I'd never had much luck with girls before. Not like Sirius. To my parents, I was the far superior Black son, but to girls, I was far inferior to my brother. Less handsome, less fit, not as funny, not as interesting, not as rebellious. My claim to fame my whole life had been my blood status: pure. I mocked those lesser than me. I was a Black.

But Cara: she had no idea who I was. She didn't know anything about my life, or my family, or my chosen profession. The mark on my left wrist would have meant nothing to her. Nothing. She was not afraid of me. She had no reason to listen to me, but she did anyway. For the first time, someone saw me for who I was at my lowest: Regulus. Not Regulus Arcturus Black, the Death Eater. Regulus, just boy at a bar in a weird robe.

 **Cara**

Kate found me, still there, at about 3 AM. I realized we'd been talking for four hours. I was completely sober now, but Reg was just as handsome as I'd first thought. Dark hair tossed back, deep brown eyes. Warm smile.

"Yup, I'm coming," I called after Kate. I turned back to him. "Can I get your number?"

 **Regulus**

My what? Must be some sort of Muggle thing.

"What?"

 **Cara**

Who was he? "Your phone number." I bit my lip. "I want to see you again."

 **Regulus**

Every pureblood bone in my body wanted to say no. To just walk away, without another word. My parents would disown me. The Dark Lord— oh, I would be dead. But me, Regulus: all I wanted was to say yes.

 **Cara**

"I- I don't have.. that." he stammered, "But- I'll be here.. tomorrow night. See you then?"

I wasn't even surprised. "Yeah. See you then, Regulus."


	2. Chapter 2

Regulus

It wasn't easy to get away, from the other Death Eaters. Not this time.

"I've gotta go visit my mum." I lied.

"That old hag? Like hell you do." snarled Nott. Last night, they had wanted to watch the Muggle girls dancing. Tonight, they wanted blood.

Cara

I walked into the pub, breathless, and there he was, just like no time had passed. Giant cloak dropping to the floor. Tankard of beer. Waiting.

I tapped him on the shoulder.

Regulus

"Excuse me, what's that you're wearing?" she smirked. My heart lifted: she had come.

I grabbed her hand. "Care to get out of here, Miss Cara?"

Cara

We were wandering down a London street, laughing like mad. The shops were lit up around us. "Where exactly are we going, Reg?"

"It's a mystery." He replied.

"Like you."

Regulus

The whole day, I convinced myself that I wasn't going to come. She's just a Muggle, I told myself. She means nothing to you. Surely, there are far superior women of pure blood. You deserve better. And yet, here I was.

Cara

We ended up at a park somewhere, collapsed on the bench. Oddball though he was, Regulus was a riot. We were taking turns telling stories. "Okay," I asked "do you have any siblings?"

Regulus

Bloody hell. "Yeah.. kinda." I responded. Did Sirius even count? "My brother ran away from home when I was 15. My parents disowned him. We don't really.. get on."

Cara

Poor kid. "Oh. I'm sorry."

Regulus

Heavy silence.

Cara

"I- I think you're pretty great, Regulus."

Regulus

I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face. No one had ever said that before. My parents had said they were proud of me, sure. Oh, Regulus, what a good boy. Loyal, obedient Regulus. Oh, Reg, he's the Slytherin seeker. What a tosser.

Not great. Never great.

Cara

His smile lit up the dark garden.

Regulus

I don't know who leaned in first. Suddenly, her arms were around my neck and my hands were in her hair and her lips, cold and light, were on mine.

Cara

I opened up my eyes, just a bit, and saw sparks dancing in the air around us. I'd swear it to you.

Regulus

I hadn't done accidental magic since I was 9 years old.


End file.
